Katy ripped the packet open, and the scent hit: thick, rich chocolate. She’d been good for weeks; another pound gone today. Time for a treat.
She locked the door; Michael mustn’t see this. Ten minutes later, she had chocolate caked on her hands, round her mouth, even on her nose.
Katy, satisfied, took her flannel and wiped off the face-pack.

- Ali

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“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” – Hemingway
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“Take the best orgasm you’ve ever had… multiply it by a thousand, and you’re still nowhere near it. ” – on heroin from Trainspotting.

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old pond
a frog jumps
the sound of water

(This supposedly is the most famous haiku yet.)

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“A man walking through a beautiful mountain forest steps on a land mine.” – John Leary

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“A man goes for surgery, something routine like gall-bladder repair. The doctor leaves a sponge inside the guy. The doctor promises it won’t happen again. They operate again to remove the sponge. This time, the doctor leaves two sponges and a clamp in there. The doctor promises it won’t happen again. They operate again to remove the two sponges and a clamp, but this time they leave three sponges and a tractor in there. The doctor promises it won’t happen again. Etc. ” – John Leary

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“TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …” – Harry Harrison

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He: Hey! Here’s a rose for you.
She: I’ve not seen a rose before but that red thing you’re holding in your hand is not a rose.
He: Trust me, this is a rose.
She: I trust only myself. I am sure that is not a rose.
He: (Am I holding a tomato???)

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A doorless room with white walls, white lights, you and me – my description of heaven.

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